The Allure of Good Behavior
Hi, my name’s Michelle Anthony, and welcome to Family Ministry Conversations. Today’s conversation topic is the allure of good behavior.
Oh, it is so alluring isn’t it? It’s alluring to have good behavior, to seek good behavior in our children or students.
When we as teachers and parents see good behavior, we are quick to recognize it. And when we see ill behavior or poor behavior, we are quick to recognize that too – with a consequence.
That’s the way we were trained and it’s the way that we are trained to train other generations.
I’m not saying that good behavior is bad. I’m just saying that the allure of it is so intense, that sometimes we can substitute good behavior for authentic faith.
Searching for Authentic Faith
Authentic faith is the one thing that Jesus said he’d be looking for upon his return.
Jesus said, “When the son of man returns, will he find faith on the earth?” It’s the one thing he said he’d be looking for.
Faith is that robust understanding that not only do we believe, but we’ve submitted our entire life and will to that belief. That we have given up all of our rights and privileges to do so.
Getting Beyond the Do’s and Don’ts
When I was raising my own kids, it was tempting for me just to focus on good behavior, because that was a full time job every day, all day.
It was, “Stop doing this, start doing that. Don’t hit your brother. Clean up this room. Say please, say thank you. Don’t lie, don’t cheat.”
All those things are moral, good and necessary for living in this world, but I wanted the message to be more than that.
I hope that some days I got it right, because I know some days my focus was on the good behavior and I was exhausted as a parent.
As a Ministry leader, it can be the same experience.
Keeping calm in our classrooms, getting everybody from station to station or picked up safely, asking kids not to hit other kids, to not say a bad word during prayer and worship response.
All of those things can be seductive in their own ways, and yet – when do we actually get to see germinating faith? When do we get to see an “aha” moment for a kid. A moment where they actually experience the presence of the Holy Spirit. Or when they pray, they really believe they are praying to a living God who is listening.
A Change in Perspective
We have to pause, we have to slow down. We have to not overreact to poor behavior.
I go into Ministry situations, and even most of my days with parenting – expecting that my kids are going to make mistakes, or make poor decisions sometimes.
Then, I don’t have to be shocked and appalled when they do. I can answer with a gentleness, and redirecting – not shaming them in their behavior, but redirecting that God has so much more for them.
He has so much more for them then to be a hitter, a liar, a cheater, a stealer, a bad mouth whiner. He has life abundant for them and he’s called them into this part in his story.
When we re-engage their thought from just the negativity of what they’ve done wrong, to the positivity of what could be, as they say, “yes” to Jesus. As we redirect their attention and our attention to the things of Christ. We fix our eyes on Jesus, not just the simple behavior.
Then we start to create an environment where faith can flourish. The reality of it is that we are going to have to correct poor behavior. And we will celebrate good behavior. But let’s make sure our focus and our attention is equally, if not more on helping our children and the next generation fix their eyes upon Jesus. The author, perfecter of their faith.
And that’s when, “The things of this earth will grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and Grace.”